When I was younger, I often hear older people say “kids are different these days” and that always connotes something negative. Now that I am an adult, I also have the same opinion on children of today– they are quite different from how we were. And yes, I also mean that in a negative way.
Back then, when a child did something bad and teacher says “I want to talk to your parents,” it is enough to make that particular child feel guilty or make him/her think about all the punishments the parents/teachers could do to him/her. Then the child will try to behave better to sort of even out what he’s done.
So if my generation is worse than my mother’s generation and the generation after my generation is worse than mine, then that could only mean that the behavior of children humankind (because they will be adults later) is deteriorating. Why is this so? It is because the times change. Many would blame it to popular culture and media but I don’t like to go into that now.
I have a class in a private Volkschule (primary school) here in Austria. I go there once a week to give them extra English lessons. In one of our lessons, two of the six boys started fighting out of the blue. It turned out that these two kids have a long history of previous fights and of not liking each other in general. It wasn’t easy but I manage to break up the fight and then I told them, with all the calmness that I could muster, that what they did is wrong. I also told them that I would like to speak to their parents. To my surprise, none of them seemed to care. One of them even suggested that he’ll call his mother immediately.
After the class, I managed to have a word with their mothers. I talked to them separately and I am really disappointed on how these mothers see their kids’ behavior. Both mothers claimed that it could not have been the fault of their kid. They told me a lot of things that made me further conclude that they (the mothers) also don’t like each other.
I honestly don’t give importance on who started the fight or whose fault it is because it was obviously both of them. It is bad enough that these kids don’t care what they do in front of a teacher but parents who don’t let their kids take responsibilities for their (kids’) actions could only mean worse. Parents like these are not helping in the positive development of their childrens’ personality.
I am not saying that they should beat their kids until they’re blue or that they make use of grounding or any other form of punishments. I just wanted them to talk to their kids and explain that they did something wrong and that they shouldn’t do it again.
The role of teachers in children’s development is great and some would even claim that the teachers have more influence on children than parents actually have. Still, we could all agree that parents have influence on their children and no matter how big or small that is, it shouldn’t be taken for granted. Parents letting their children take responsibility for their actions is directly teaching them discipline, respect and responsibility.
Based on this experience, I hope that these two particular mothers and other parents like them could learn some sense on how to use their influence on their kids.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
mmmm ….
based on my personal experience,
it’s normal for parents to take sides when their kids get into trouble
they usually blame the other kid because they tend to hear only their child’s side of the story especially if they feel that their kid got hurt
so my advise is just explain them situation and then let them be. they’re old enough to know what to do
it would be unwise to preach parents about child discipline because they may think that you are dictating them on how to raise their kids
hehe
eh opinion ko lang naman
@sterndal
i did explain to the mothers what happened. i was really careful not to put the blame on one particular child so as not to give them the feeling that I am talking against their child or that i am on particular kid’s side.
they haven’t heard their child’s version of the story yet. i was first talk to them about it.
i was sort of imagining that they tell me something like “don’t worry i’ll speak to my child about it.” but that was not the case. both of them immediately concluded that it is completely the fault of the other child.
i haven’t actually told them how to discipline their child. i wanted that they’ll talk to their child about it but i didn’t even tell them to do that. i just told them what happened in the class and the blog post is really just about my dislike of their reaction.
btw, i don’t know why but your comment went in the spam box. i supposed you’re supposed to put your blog’s URL and not the URL of a particular blog post otherwise it will just to the spam box. anyway, i was glad that i retrieved it before i emptied the spam box.
hi myla
ay hindi dapat pala binasa ko muna ng dalawang beses yung post bago ako nag-comment
kaya siguro palagi na lng nadi-delete yung mga comments kasi palagi ko ginagawa yung sa URL
thanks for the info
happy blogging!
I can relate to this. It just happened to me very recently. Same thing… kids’ fight over petty things. Both kids didn’t want their parents to know about it so I just told them I won’t tell but they have to make up and be friends again. Apparently, both kids told their parents and the following day, one of the parents approached me and asked me how I handled the situation. I told her the truth and guess what… her kid told otherwise, making me the bad guy. She told the mom that I was rude to her because she didn’t want to get in trouble. Oh well… what would I do? I just shrugged a shoulder because I dont want to appear defensive.
@sterndal, np. ikaw naman… syempre open yan for discussion.
@ruthi, inunahan kang magsumbong tas baliktad pa. hehehehe.